LCD

I haven't been to a good show in a long time, like since 2007 when I saw The Arcade Fire and LCD Soundsystem! Well maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, I've seen shows but nothing at a big venue. Well that's about to change in the next two months because I'm going to see Hole and then a month later LCD SOUNDSYSTEM!!!!

Now i was supposed to see Hole at my first concert (I was like 11 or 12 I think) the Dysfunctional Family Picnic III at Jones Beach but she had to cancel due to well......DRUGS remember this was late 90's Courtney we're talking. Also Coincidentally STP was supposed to play but Scott Weiland also had to cancel due to his love for the chasing the dragon! Well now my bf is finally making me see Hole with him and I'm sure its gonna be great or either its gonna be fun to watch her be fucked up that is if she still does party!?!

Anyways what I'm really excited to see is LCD Soundsystem. I've seen them twice and both times they've been awesome. The last time ranks among one of the best concerts I've ever been too. The band also managed to outperform the Arcade Fire and in my opinion stole the show. I just can't wait to see what they do this tour!

American Idiot? Indeed

Ok so let me start by saying I don't hate Green Day, I enjoy a few of there songs from way back when I was a young one. Now that I've said that WHY THE HELL ARE THOSE FUCKTARDS GETTING A MUSICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!Like fucking seriously I can not fathom this one, I mean just why? .Don't these guys make enough money from there Hot Topic merch sales! I guess I'm being so harsh because this shit is gonna be bad, like Suessical bad. I reason this because it's probably gonna be pretty damn cheesy and angsty and that's not fun, muscials are supposed to be fun and well ok cheesy! But not Angsty I get enough of that from old episodes of Party of five that still haunt my dreams. Anyways I can understand a group ABBA having that abortion known as Mamma Mia because lets face it we've all been drunk at one point or another and have gotten down too Dancing Queen or SOS!

Finally Green Day you aren't Punk, this isn't Punk, you are lame..... but what do I know u got a fucking muscial!

1 year and 28 lbs heavier!

About one year ago I made the conscious decision to start working out. Now l made this decision for many reasons mostly to get stronger because I was well shimpy .I also I did this in an effort to be healthier (still working on that one, White castle is just too good).Well last year this time I weighed somewhere around 142 lbs at 5'8 and now I weigh 170 lbs and I feel so much better. I mean of course now none of my pants fit especially my jeans which I live in. I digress though there are just too many plusses now of bulking up like I can actually move and carry things with ease,I can run farther and its easier, I can wrestle Jeff and win! (well sometimes win I let him win sometime) All in all a good move to get fit. Now for this year I plan on getting bigger and more toned.

Also I'd like to add that the stairmaster is not a toy but a serious piece of equipment that will whoop ur ass!

Oh and also Lean Dessert Protein and this gay site's www.realjock.com workout plans help as well!

Yea Still Hot!

Holy fuck balls I saw this pic of Mark Wahlberg today on towleroad and my jaw totally dropped. Jesus tap dancing christ he is still freakin sexy and I think he's getting better looking with every year, which men tend to do. Except for when they that weird age when they start to look like an aunt!

The Evil Right has an Anthem!

So I was playing Bioshock 2 when I stumbled across the rights's anthem. Bioshock FYI is a game set during the 50's and 60's in which you fight drug crazed mutated citizens and in an underwater city known as Rapture. One of the things that significant about the game is the music which is mostly selections from early 20th century jazz and big band music. It's particularly effective in being creepy and awesome, and it has spurred a love for olde tunes. (The Ink Spots specifically)

Anyways while I was playing earlier I came across this little diddy "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" by Kay Kyser and His Orchestra. Now WTF this song has to be the anthem of the evil right! I mean first just look at the title alone its all about God, guns and freedom and GW must've creamed his pants when he first read it. Chances are this song came out of one of the great wars. Anyways I can see an army of Little Sean Hannity's charging into a battlefield with this blaring. Terrifying I know but about the left!

If the left had a an anthem I think it would be.... Abba "Take a chance on me" Don't ask why just go with it!

MMMMMMMMM

Happiness is a homemade Pineapple Upside Down Cake!

But why?

So there was a major travesty that occured this week I'm talking of course about the elimination of Pandora's Boxx from "RuPaul's Drag Race". I like many other have been rooting for Pandora since the beginning of the season, althoughI'm partially biased having spent the past few years in rochester and having a bf who worked at Tilt where she performs at. Anyways I was shocked by this weeks outcome and by the "challenge" or as like to call it a tranny wreck!

This week's challenge was to take "silver foxes" and turn them into "golden gals". OK so none of these guys were foxes sorry you need to be at least decent looking to use that term me thinks. Secondly they were all like seriously strange, like what the fuck were the producers thinking when they were picking out these dudes? I felt myself asking where the fuck did they pick these guys up? Also that had to have been the most fucked up challenges i've ever seen on any reality tv show. The whole challlenge seemed so rushed and haphazarded that they were trying to doom them all.

In the end it came down to Pandora and Juju being on the bottom and in the end Pandora was sadly eliminated. Anyways I felt Tatiana was way worse in this challenge and just doesn't belong on the show still. She just looks really freakin pretty, which is kind of scary! Tyra needs to go as well the only thing that she has in common with Beyonce is there inability to speak the english language properly!

Pandora was the only real contender I thought for the title. I say this because she was the only true drag queen. I felt that for the most part that the majority of these queens just looked sort of good and liked to play dress up, which is fun we've all worn a big wig and stumble in high heels drunkenly time to time. Although aside from looking it just seemed that all the others lacked personality to there character and more importantly they lacked talent. Seriously if you send these queens on tour what are they gonna do? Lip synch? Dance? is that really talent? Whatever I'm sure Pandora is gonna be way better off. I just have one question that I want to be answered by the end of the season....

What the fuck does the interior illusions lounge look like?

(Pandora Spanking my boo up top)

F-unemployment

Last year in the spring I graduated from college, exciting yes! I know I was thrilled, and so were my parents especially with never having to make another tuition payment again (I was the last of 4 kids). After school ended I moved back home to stay with my family and save money but most importantly above all find a job! Well it's how many months later and Im still unemployed! Thanks Economy!

You know what sometimes it's not even that! It's where I fucking live and the poeple who are looking to hire, they just suck I think. After months of sending out my resumes and applying for work I still havent gotten even a call for an interview, this excluding the ones for internships which I both nailed and got and then lost the one due to Tonsilitis. Most infuriatiing is that not even any of the restaurants I've applieed to have called me back for even an interview WTF! Is it because all my experience is from upstate is that somehow lesser then Long Island, trust me the place I worked upstate beats any joint down here. I don't understand how Long Island doesn't see that it is this close to being a joke just like Jersey and Staten Island (Sorry cousins) I meean come on I am a young, nice, hard working person with so much to give why won't someone love me!!! wait sorry wrong speech I MEAN GIVE ME A JOB!!!!!

Ya Don't Say!

GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh please like we didn't already know! Between the good hair, tan, body, and the fact that he has a child with some ho just like Clay Aiken, and that uber hot dude he's with can't just be his friend or tennis instructor. I mean was he really hiding it, I thought I was hiding it when I was younger. The kids at school saw right through me plus having patent leather Adidas in middle school probably didn't help.

Anyways this occasion has me wanting to cheer "Gay" like how latin american soccer commentators scream "GOAL!!!!!" and then the crowd goes wild!!!! Also on another note, I'd hit it and his friend!

ROCKET!!

ROCKET is so damn good, it was on repeat as I ran today, I tried listening to other things but I just couldn't shake it, so it went on repeat!

My Boo!

As a child I was not allowed certain cereals because they were deemed as how you would say uh... Crap.

I beg to disagree I love pretty much all cereal, even the weird healthy ones like museli. As a frequent eater of the stuff I recently have noticed a very depressing trend the past few years and that is the disappearance of my three friends of Boo Berry, Franken Berry, and Count Chocula from supermarkets. Now this makes me sad, one because I didn't get to try the stuff til college, and two because there all heavenly especially Boo. After I first tried the stuff I went right back out to Wal-mart and bought several more boxes. But around last year I started to notice its presence waining in supermarkets. I don't want it to go the way of Quisp(Cap"N Crunches less painful counterpart)

On another ghost/ghoul/food related note. Anyone remember HI-C Ecto Cooler, I miss that stuff it was divine!

Archer!

Im in love with FX's "Archer" it might be the funniest shows on TV. This show is amazing it's like if "Arrested Development" had an orgy with "Sealab 2021" and "James Bond". The show follows Sterling Archer, his overbearing mother voiced by the comedic delight that is Jessica Walters, and the rest of the ISIS spy agency .

There are so many good things about this show. First and foremost is Jessica Walters who essentially play's an oversexed mean spirited drunk, who easily has the best and meanest lines in the show, very Lucille Bluth (Jeffery Tambor makes an appearance on the show as well). I feel that she plays the drunk really well, it doesn't even feel likes she's really acting. Her storylines revolve around her sleeping with the KGB and one uppingt the head of her Co-op board Trudy Beekman.

Secondly is Archer. He's just terrible, like the biggest self absorbed, douche bag, horndog ever, it's amazing and I love it! Voice acted by H. Jon Benjamin who has one of the greatest voices ever, it's deep and manly. I just wished he looked as good as Archer instead of well he looks .... Well anyway the main character is hysterical and IDK I find the smartass/jackasses amusing and loveable no matter how much an ass they are, and Archer is a total ass.

Third, is the staff of ISIS who are equally as deplorable as the main characters,but also they remind us that although it is a spy agency, its also a normal office workplace They often discuss workplace situations such as the "food rapist" in the office break room and the change over of there accounting system. MY favorite ISIS employee though is the overweight undersexed Pam and her dolphin puppet which she uses to mediate workplace disputes and issues!

Besides the characters the show makes good use of creating it own world in which it continuously pools jokes from much like Arrested Development which was the best tv show ever and the most postmodern comedy ever. Also in the vein of A.D it has well thought out pop culture references. Archer reminds me alot of Arrested Development, but this show is far more outlandish and well sick and thats why I love it!

The show also has it's token gay episode "Honeypot" and a token gay character Agent Gillette who is a loveable bitch!

IM FUCKING ADDICTED TO THESE, THEY ARE SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!

So wait these are supposed to be good?

Now for those who don't know I've got a sweet tooth, maybe not just a sweet tooth but an insatiable lust for all candies and baked goods! Besides this too I love food, and NYC has some of the best restaurants and bakeries in the world. So a few years ago a dear friend and at the time my boss introduced me to the wonderful world of cupcakes at Billy's Bakery. Ever since then I've developed a love and have even coveted the bakeries the recipe and improved on it (Believe me mine are even better) Since then i've tried all the cupcake bakeries manhattan with the exception of a few still. So this week I had magnolia's cupcakes...

Now for those who don't know this is the "It" bakery for cupcakes and I have the baking book and from what i've tried so far has been good. Well I finally tried there regular cupcakes, and honestly if people are lining up for these cupcakes then there's something wrong, because they SUCK!!!! I think Magnolia's has the worst cupcake that I have yet to taste from the cupcakeries. No why do I say this? Well there Vanilla was dry and lacking vanilla and the frosting was all sugar, I assure you it will give you diabetes! The chocolate tasted fake almost like one of those damn hostess cakes. My bf had the red velvet which I've made before and these weren't eveen close to as good as the ones I made.

So here's what's gonna happen if this is what is considered good baking. Im going to open my own damn bakery and stomp the competition because the people have the right to line up around the block for something that is actually good!

On a side note if you live in NYC and want good cupcakes go to crumbs, Billy's bakery isn't what it used to be!

Lil shop

So the boy and I decided to take a break from SVU the other night, what did we watch instead ? well something different although it still had domestic violence which I can assure you is completly coincidental....

We watched "Little shop of Horrors" yep the classic Frank Oz film starring Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, and Steve Martin. Let's face it though the real stars of this film is Ellen Greene's voice and the three black back up singers! Ellen Greene's voice is a wonder of the modern age, I mean it goes from soft and breathy too well I don't even know how to describe it!

The three back up singers are the other stars in the film they're in every number and are by fair the most talented singers in the film, that is next to Ellen Greene's golden vocal chords! Aside from there singing there the postmodern angels of the film, I say this because there roles shift constantly and somehow magically there costumes change and time doesn't apply. Or there just magic, yea thats it magic...

And if you don't believe in the magic that is Ellen Greene observe:

Sexiest Man Alive!

So the husband and I have been watching a lot of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit these days, mostly because its on our netflix instant queue and the show is great to fall asleep to if you like being lulled to sleep by screams and that law order scene change sound! But the real reason we watch it and probably the reason why Im gay is, Christopher Meloni!

The first time I ever saw him was probably the first time I ever said wow he's hot (I was like 13 at the time). He is the sexiest man alive! No contest, he's pure man, machsimo whatever the fuck you call it! His perfromance on the show "OZ", is probably the reason that Im gay, I used to wait up and watch that show back in the day on HBO like it was my job! I never missed it, there was too much of a chance that i'd miss seeing christopher meloni nude and/or naked with other inmates or being thrusted nude into the hole. Or what about that episode where he bent over spread his cheeks, HOT! And let's face it he got naked pretty frequently on that show like almost every episode I want to say. My only complaint was his prison bitch Beecher, who doesn't do a thing for me!

I think what makes him so sexy is that tall, thick, muscular body and I don't even mind that lil bit of chunk that he acquired during his 11 seasons on SVU, its the reason that they never show his chest full on, on tv now, lame! That face too he's got great eyes oh and he's hung! So all around he kind of the perfect man! Oh and I also have a thing for Matt Damon (to whom my bf bares a resemblance too!)

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

So I just finished watching the masterpiece known as Lady Gaga's "Telephone". I have to say once again that I am floored by this music video its just fucking awesome and for so many reasons too. Just for the sheer fact that she addresses the tranny rumor in the first minute with "I told you she didn't have a fucking dick" WOW! That's so ballsy, no other pop star would address that shit if it was said about them. But I can't think of her as a pop star anymore I'm starting to have to agree that she is an entertainer or performance artist, pop star is trashy and her style is way too smart... I also love how she keeps pushing the envelope with her art direction the bright oversaturated colors were a cool contrast to the last video, the only draw back was the shameless product promotion!

Her wardrobe is once again over the top and its this exaggeration in the designs that makes me love her so, It's like we are soul neighbors who are constantly borrowing sugar from each other. Oh and I want that fucking phone hat, I can wear it at parties and shit its totally practical!


The video does well despite one blatant problem Beyonce. Let's face it Beyonce can sing when she wants too, her presence on this track and in this video is unencessary, she's being lazy and has no omph The only thing that she did correct was eat the damn Burrito Let's face it when it comes to acting she's beyond awful, Paris Hilton might be better then her, I mean did anyone see obsessed, I almost did for the cat fight, but Im not gonna sit through something two hours long to watch her stumble through her lines until the inevitable brawl!

Either way this is the greatest video ever because of the dick comment!

Performance Enhancer?

So I was at the gym today, I'm there quite a bit these days since I'm still looking for work. Anyways when I go to the gym I tend to use the same locker most of the time, I am a creature of habit. So today when I got there I went to go change and put my stuff away in my usual locker "69", yes I know Im so mature but hey whatever i'll always remember it. Now at my gym people tend to use the lockers without putting a lock on, so Im used to opening a locker and finding some old dudes suit or tighty whities, not today..... Today I opened the locker to find 4 bottles two XO Brandy and some bad Whiskey, I know Classy!

How the hell did they get there and WHY!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU GET DRUNK AT THE GYM THATS BEYOND COUNTER PRODUCTIVE!!! I mean how can anyone go to gym drunk and they had to be drunk from that amount. I can understand running drunk I used to do that when I was hyped up after barbacking for 10 hours but thats different it was 5 AM and no one else was around, I'd go home eat a pizza and then pass out!

Let's face it though it most likely came from a patron most likely or a surly janitor, or probably that dude at my gym who looks like a drunk sea captain whose lost his vessel and is landlocked!

Tagged

I was on hulu last night and spotted this gem. Let's face it those tags are beyond true, Im wondering how she even got the gig to host let alone be the musical guest but hey its a recession!

THERE's A REASON THEY'RE CALLED KILLER WHALES!

So I was reading the BBC news today and discovered this story! Apparently a few days ago one of the killer whales at Sea World killed one of its trainers! Now Im not an animal rights activist by any means, well i do love animals like dogs and cats you know the furry cuddly kind and come on who doesn't there all so cute, but any animal that has killer in its name maybe shouldn't be contained and forced to jump in front of crowds for a fish, just a thought! I mean there called Killer Whales for a reason people.

Now Picture it: Florida! Your a young child maybe of 7 or 8 years old you and your family are on a trip to Orlando hitting up all the parks, your really stoked on it your a kid! Now today your family is going to Sea World! Your gonna see whales, fish and seals and whatever else they have there (I don't even remember that place when I went it was boring!) , So your parents take you to the gift shop first and they buy you a poncho, a hat shaped like a seal or something goofy and a shamu toy ( one of them plush dolls). So then your family goes to get seats that put you fairly out of the splash range. The show begins the trainer comes out and then the Whale begins to rise out of its tank, Your mesmorized by the creature and its immense size being a small kid, you know its like some real "Free Willy" kind of shit. So then the whale does a trick or two and your in total awe, The moments later the trainer goes to feed the Orca and thats when things go wrong. The Whale pulls the trainer down into the tank, you think its playing but then its not the whale begins to pull down the trainer and ramming them into the wall. you cry and scream with the onlookers all the while holding the toy whale until you finally let go as the trainer's lifeless body floats up. BAM VACATION RUINED, and LIFE SCARRED!

Yea Fucked up I know, but whats even more fucked is that the same whale has killed two other trainers. So ok one dies and you can blame it on animal behavior instinct whatever! A second person dies you think you'd consider maybe retiring the whale or something but wait a third person dies and you still have the damn whale perform, isn't there an understudy whale who just dying to be in the spotlight. Either way I think that whale's a killer!