Ms. Griffin

I love me some Kathy Griffin. Sure her voice can be a little on the irritating side but gosh darnit she's hysterical. The boy and I are going to see her live on the 10th in Canandaigua. For being on the d-list she's pulling in a good crowd actually. I've included one of my favorite segments from her stand up.




P.S. Here Mom rules she's 86 and still a firecracker!

Weeknight lover

Currently there is only one gal I'd bite the bullet for and try to be straight. She is of course chelsea Handler.



Her dry sarcastic wit, and dirty hot pocket comments is frankly what i need to get through the day sometimes. Also her panel is pretty good consistently. Check out this lil sketch making fun of white Oprah and her other talentless daughter, you know the one!

Penis Plant

So for some reason today I decided to start looking up the worlds largest flowers. It probably has everything to do with the video game hes playing. So anyways I was reading up on the biggest flower also known as the corpse flower or titan arum, because of its offensive smell. They say it smells like rotting flesh but I'd guess its more like star jones old vajayjay!



So this is the said plant, As I was reading up on it i couldn't help but notice this tid bit The titan arum or Amorphophallus titanum (from Ancient Greek amorphos, "without form, misshapen" + phallos, "penis", and titan, "giant") . In short its a big old smelly dick!

Gay

So this past weekend was Rochester's pride weekend. In brief I worked most of it away but I did manage to make it to the parade. And since my bf and his friends are such bitches we stationed ourselves near the protesters.

Honest to good they were the real show since the roc parade is missing drag queens endlessly trapped in a k-hole. How hate mongering religious zealots does it take to make a proper sign. The answer is way more then you think. The one protester didnt even have a proper sign having to do with gays and there perverted ways as they put it. Anywho the one persons sign read "Star Wars is occultism" and on the other side it read "Hillary should be home doing the dishes" Either one is baffling. My boyfriend told the boys mother if thats her view that she shoulkd get her fat ass back in the kitchen. To my suprise none of these people had a college degree and claimed earthly education doesn't matter for the lord.

Just Becuz

For those who don't know Im obsessed with the show American Dad! I find everything about it to be a delight. Heres a clip that reminds why i love the show and also reminds me of the kind of world we live in. Oh Iran Contra!

Delivery Tales

A new segment i will be featuring is delivery tales. For those who don't know my part time job right now is delivering mexican food. In the past few months I have had some interesting experiences believe you me! Also Rochester has worse drivers then queens.

My first goes to that women whose across main street. This happened about a week or two ago and I almost cried it was so hysterical. For those who don't know main street is an interesting area, you know interesting people (crackheads, families, DMT, meth addicts). Anyways I show up and a relatively frumpy women is already waiting. Now her deck is being worked on and there was a wood beam between us that she used as a counter. I give her food and she proceeds into the recesses of the house to sign the credit slip. Moments later she exits cocks her head in the back in the air and hands me slip to say "I'd like my copy and my receipt" The bitch was just holding them. I gave them to her to see that she has not tipped and so I walk off. Approaching my car I look down on the grass in front of her house to see a bloody tampon. EWWWWWWWWWW! the bitch just acted like she was royalty and she's got dirty feminine hygiene products on her lawn. I got into my car and pulled down the street I was laughing so hard I almost crashed into a curb. The wonder that is rochester.

VH1

After viewing the highly controversial of boondocks. You know the one where BET is trying to destroy black people, of course not it didn't air in america only Canada. Anyways basically Aaron Mcgrudder theorizes that BET is out to make bad tv to bring down the african american community. Whether he's right or wrong is up to dispute. But if BET is out to destory black people then VH1 is out to destroy people in general. Recently the network has really taken a turn to with its most heanus venture yet, I love money!

For those who have not heard they've rounded up all the rejects, Tranny messes and sex workers they could from past reality dating ventures such as "Rock of love", "I love New York" and "Who wants to date a crackhead". The contestants are going to be pitted against each other until one is left who will then win $250,000. The contestants are possibly the best of the celebreality universe that VH1 has created.The show will most likely be so trashy I will have no choice to watch in disgust. Below is the porn star that is in the current cast.



At time like this Im reminded of the film and novel Battle Royale. In which a class of japanese kids is put on island with explosive collars around there neck and are forced to kill each other until one is left standing. WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE THEM DO THAT!!!!!!!!!

Weekly Inspiration

As with my return to ze blog they'll be fun posts such as this.

This weeks and the first is the wonderful Joanna Lumley. Or as most of us know her as Patsy Stone on Ab Fab. I love her to death I remember when they had just the 3 seasons on comedy central when i was kid. I was hooked my family should of just known at a young age that i'd turn out gay. Anyways Joanna was also a bond girl in her majesty secret service. She was quite the hottie back in her day and she still is now. Also my boy and I might be Eddie and Patsy for hallowen. Heres a two clips of PAtsy at her best because one just isn't enough:

M.I.A

After a long hiatus Im back.

OH Viacom.

VH1 has a new slogan Watch and Discuss. Lets face it we all know it should be Watch in Disgust. Its the only feeling I get when watching flavor of love or rock of love or any of there evil reality tv.

He's a Big MO

I was out making deliveries this morning my job as a burrito delivery boy. (It's alot less sexy then it sounds believe me). I had just started making my rounds yet was paused by the fact that I was out of smokes. So I pulled into my friendly neighborhood rite aid after getting stiffed a tip and 37 cents for one of the deliveries. I was rather glum until I feasted my eyes on this.




ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW!!!! I almost burst out laughing, and for once it wasn't beause there was a crack head working there.I just can't believe the words Dale Jr. and Big Mo all on a fat ass candy bar. He must be a chubby chaser. I just can't believe not one red flag went off in the marketing room. But then again I doubt there'd be many fags working on a nascar star based candy.

This might be the gayest candy bar since the whatchamacallit.

X-Mas isn't here just yet.

As usual on the Saturday after thanksgiving, the Belvedere family begins its annual tradition of putting up the x-mas crap. This process as with any family is an all day event. Usually I end up helping my dad and put up the lights outside. I've pretty much done this with my father every year that i could remember.

The house when I was a kid almost put the griswald family too shame. Unfortuntely it was not as hilarious and often usually more stressful then anything.

I conclude with a scene from the best xmas movie ever.

30 Rock is damn good I just started to watch it. This clip just brings me so much joy, almost as much as the muffin top sketch. Rachel Dratch is quite the talented character actress.

WHITE DIAMONDS!!!!!!!

Adventure

As many of you know i can be seen running around the city of rochester almost daily.

The following is a list of grievances with my surroundings:

People who throw cups of ice at me
People who almost hit me.
The people who occasionally scowl if i have no shirt on.
Bees.
Bad Rochester drivers.
Park Avenue.
People who forget pedistrians have the right of way.

Schooled

I really dislike having adult students in my classes (Im pretty sure andrea already talked about this last year in her blog). Let's face it there annoying. There poorly dressed, awkward and usually have families, and are going back for that second degree or gasp there first one.

Most experiences with them makes me wonder how or why they have gone back to school. Lets face it in america college is pretty much a place to learn and then party ur face off, its about enjoying those days when you can be some what irresponsible. When i look at some of these people I often wondered when there irresponsibility had delivered them to a grateful dead concert.

High-kea

In case you didn't know I love ikea. I don't know why I just do, maybes its the cool showroom, cool lamps, or the fact that just about anything comes flatpacked. Though everytime I go I buy at least one thing I don't need or have yet to use.

#1 on the list is a IKEA PS candlestick . The design is gorgeous and definately unique. The object in question also resembles the virus canisters in the resident evil movie. That prompted initial attraction followed by the urge of I must have this. The object while neat is definately delicate and has a hollow spiral of glass on the inside. I doubt I'll ever use the damn thing except for one day when i need a roach clip. It would probably make a more interesting piece of paraphanlia anyway.

Just because

I love sonic youth, and I love this episode of the simpsons. Ah so many fond memories

Janet Reno cuts a rug

I remember when SNL was ok. I wasn't old enough to stay up and watch when it was good in the early 90's and such. I find the show to be good, but have always been more of a kids in the hall guy. I was stumbling around on myspace recently and found a copy of Will Ferrel's classic skits "Janet Reno's Dance Party"

The concept is great. Janet Reno locks some kids in her basement. She forces them to dance to "My Sharona" endlessly, and then there would be a celebrity spotlight dance, and a visit from Bill Clinton. Will Ferrel's "Janet" swoons over bill and all is well.

The funny thing is that this actually became a real benefit during the last election. The real Janet Reno threw one in florida as an effort to rally democratic voters. Supposively it was a big hit. But I digress I find it odd when jokes make on SNL become reality.

"Gin is the reason we can't have nice things" - Emily Lynch

I broke my roomates sunglasses the other night in a drunken stupor. Which prompted the above quote. So I went to wikipedia and found this little interesting tidbit.

"Gin became very popular in England after the government allowed unlicensed gin production and at the same time imposed a heavy duty on all imported spirits. This created a market for poor-quality grain that was unfit for brewing beer, and thousands of gin-shops sprang up all over England. By 1740 the production of gin had increased to six times that of beer, and because of its cheapness it became extremely popular with the poor[citation needed]. Of the 15,000 drinking establishments in London, over half were gin-shops. Beer maintained a healthy reputation as it was often safer to drink the brewed ale than unclean plain water. Gin, though, was blamed for various social and medical problems, and it may have been a factor in the high death rate that caused London's previously increasing population to remain stable. The reputation of the two drinks was illustrated by William Hogarth in his engravings Beer Street and Gin Lane (1751). This negative reputation survives today in the English language, in terms like "gin-mills" to describe disreputable bars or "gin-soaked" to refer to drunks, and in the phrase "Mother's Ruin," a common British name for gin."


No wonder that irish woman I met at the bug jar was concerned that I only drink gin.

Automobiles

I fuckin hate my car its too big, guzzles gas, fuckin terrible shocks, is a Pontiac, and now the fucking AC is broken. WTF I want to sell it eventually, So I probably shouldn't be posting this.

On a side note I hate other drivers. Up here in Rochester Im way over aggressive in my car. I chalk up to the fact that I'm from New york city area, where if theres no traffic you fucking floor it, and your always in arush to get everywhere. In Long island one often comes across the discomfort of having to deal with bikers, and people racing pimped out Honda's. I can't stress how many accidents I've almost gotten in to because of pimped out Honda's.

But I digress citizens of Rochester: Learn how to drive.