F-unemployment

Last year in the spring I graduated from college, exciting yes! I know I was thrilled, and so were my parents especially with never having to make another tuition payment again (I was the last of 4 kids). After school ended I moved back home to stay with my family and save money but most importantly above all find a job! Well it's how many months later and Im still unemployed! Thanks Economy!

You know what sometimes it's not even that! It's where I fucking live and the poeple who are looking to hire, they just suck I think. After months of sending out my resumes and applying for work I still havent gotten even a call for an interview, this excluding the ones for internships which I both nailed and got and then lost the one due to Tonsilitis. Most infuriatiing is that not even any of the restaurants I've applieed to have called me back for even an interview WTF! Is it because all my experience is from upstate is that somehow lesser then Long Island, trust me the place I worked upstate beats any joint down here. I don't understand how Long Island doesn't see that it is this close to being a joke just like Jersey and Staten Island (Sorry cousins) I meean come on I am a young, nice, hard working person with so much to give why won't someone love me!!! wait sorry wrong speech I MEAN GIVE ME A JOB!!!!!

Ya Don't Say!

GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh please like we didn't already know! Between the good hair, tan, body, and the fact that he has a child with some ho just like Clay Aiken, and that uber hot dude he's with can't just be his friend or tennis instructor. I mean was he really hiding it, I thought I was hiding it when I was younger. The kids at school saw right through me plus having patent leather Adidas in middle school probably didn't help.

Anyways this occasion has me wanting to cheer "Gay" like how latin american soccer commentators scream "GOAL!!!!!" and then the crowd goes wild!!!! Also on another note, I'd hit it and his friend!

ROCKET!!

ROCKET is so damn good, it was on repeat as I ran today, I tried listening to other things but I just couldn't shake it, so it went on repeat!

My Boo!

As a child I was not allowed certain cereals because they were deemed as how you would say uh... Crap.

I beg to disagree I love pretty much all cereal, even the weird healthy ones like museli. As a frequent eater of the stuff I recently have noticed a very depressing trend the past few years and that is the disappearance of my three friends of Boo Berry, Franken Berry, and Count Chocula from supermarkets. Now this makes me sad, one because I didn't get to try the stuff til college, and two because there all heavenly especially Boo. After I first tried the stuff I went right back out to Wal-mart and bought several more boxes. But around last year I started to notice its presence waining in supermarkets. I don't want it to go the way of Quisp(Cap"N Crunches less painful counterpart)

On another ghost/ghoul/food related note. Anyone remember HI-C Ecto Cooler, I miss that stuff it was divine!

Archer!

Im in love with FX's "Archer" it might be the funniest shows on TV. This show is amazing it's like if "Arrested Development" had an orgy with "Sealab 2021" and "James Bond". The show follows Sterling Archer, his overbearing mother voiced by the comedic delight that is Jessica Walters, and the rest of the ISIS spy agency .

There are so many good things about this show. First and foremost is Jessica Walters who essentially play's an oversexed mean spirited drunk, who easily has the best and meanest lines in the show, very Lucille Bluth (Jeffery Tambor makes an appearance on the show as well). I feel that she plays the drunk really well, it doesn't even feel likes she's really acting. Her storylines revolve around her sleeping with the KGB and one uppingt the head of her Co-op board Trudy Beekman.

Secondly is Archer. He's just terrible, like the biggest self absorbed, douche bag, horndog ever, it's amazing and I love it! Voice acted by H. Jon Benjamin who has one of the greatest voices ever, it's deep and manly. I just wished he looked as good as Archer instead of well he looks .... Well anyway the main character is hysterical and IDK I find the smartass/jackasses amusing and loveable no matter how much an ass they are, and Archer is a total ass.

Third, is the staff of ISIS who are equally as deplorable as the main characters,but also they remind us that although it is a spy agency, its also a normal office workplace They often discuss workplace situations such as the "food rapist" in the office break room and the change over of there accounting system. MY favorite ISIS employee though is the overweight undersexed Pam and her dolphin puppet which she uses to mediate workplace disputes and issues!

Besides the characters the show makes good use of creating it own world in which it continuously pools jokes from much like Arrested Development which was the best tv show ever and the most postmodern comedy ever. Also in the vein of A.D it has well thought out pop culture references. Archer reminds me alot of Arrested Development, but this show is far more outlandish and well sick and thats why I love it!

The show also has it's token gay episode "Honeypot" and a token gay character Agent Gillette who is a loveable bitch!

IM FUCKING ADDICTED TO THESE, THEY ARE SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!

So wait these are supposed to be good?

Now for those who don't know I've got a sweet tooth, maybe not just a sweet tooth but an insatiable lust for all candies and baked goods! Besides this too I love food, and NYC has some of the best restaurants and bakeries in the world. So a few years ago a dear friend and at the time my boss introduced me to the wonderful world of cupcakes at Billy's Bakery. Ever since then I've developed a love and have even coveted the bakeries the recipe and improved on it (Believe me mine are even better) Since then i've tried all the cupcake bakeries manhattan with the exception of a few still. So this week I had magnolia's cupcakes...

Now for those who don't know this is the "It" bakery for cupcakes and I have the baking book and from what i've tried so far has been good. Well I finally tried there regular cupcakes, and honestly if people are lining up for these cupcakes then there's something wrong, because they SUCK!!!! I think Magnolia's has the worst cupcake that I have yet to taste from the cupcakeries. No why do I say this? Well there Vanilla was dry and lacking vanilla and the frosting was all sugar, I assure you it will give you diabetes! The chocolate tasted fake almost like one of those damn hostess cakes. My bf had the red velvet which I've made before and these weren't eveen close to as good as the ones I made.

So here's what's gonna happen if this is what is considered good baking. Im going to open my own damn bakery and stomp the competition because the people have the right to line up around the block for something that is actually good!

On a side note if you live in NYC and want good cupcakes go to crumbs, Billy's bakery isn't what it used to be!

Lil shop

So the boy and I decided to take a break from SVU the other night, what did we watch instead ? well something different although it still had domestic violence which I can assure you is completly coincidental....

We watched "Little shop of Horrors" yep the classic Frank Oz film starring Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, and Steve Martin. Let's face it though the real stars of this film is Ellen Greene's voice and the three black back up singers! Ellen Greene's voice is a wonder of the modern age, I mean it goes from soft and breathy too well I don't even know how to describe it!

The three back up singers are the other stars in the film they're in every number and are by fair the most talented singers in the film, that is next to Ellen Greene's golden vocal chords! Aside from there singing there the postmodern angels of the film, I say this because there roles shift constantly and somehow magically there costumes change and time doesn't apply. Or there just magic, yea thats it magic...

And if you don't believe in the magic that is Ellen Greene observe:

Sexiest Man Alive!

So the husband and I have been watching a lot of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit these days, mostly because its on our netflix instant queue and the show is great to fall asleep to if you like being lulled to sleep by screams and that law order scene change sound! But the real reason we watch it and probably the reason why Im gay is, Christopher Meloni!

The first time I ever saw him was probably the first time I ever said wow he's hot (I was like 13 at the time). He is the sexiest man alive! No contest, he's pure man, machsimo whatever the fuck you call it! His perfromance on the show "OZ", is probably the reason that Im gay, I used to wait up and watch that show back in the day on HBO like it was my job! I never missed it, there was too much of a chance that i'd miss seeing christopher meloni nude and/or naked with other inmates or being thrusted nude into the hole. Or what about that episode where he bent over spread his cheeks, HOT! And let's face it he got naked pretty frequently on that show like almost every episode I want to say. My only complaint was his prison bitch Beecher, who doesn't do a thing for me!

I think what makes him so sexy is that tall, thick, muscular body and I don't even mind that lil bit of chunk that he acquired during his 11 seasons on SVU, its the reason that they never show his chest full on, on tv now, lame! That face too he's got great eyes oh and he's hung! So all around he kind of the perfect man! Oh and I also have a thing for Matt Damon (to whom my bf bares a resemblance too!)

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

So I just finished watching the masterpiece known as Lady Gaga's "Telephone". I have to say once again that I am floored by this music video its just fucking awesome and for so many reasons too. Just for the sheer fact that she addresses the tranny rumor in the first minute with "I told you she didn't have a fucking dick" WOW! That's so ballsy, no other pop star would address that shit if it was said about them. But I can't think of her as a pop star anymore I'm starting to have to agree that she is an entertainer or performance artist, pop star is trashy and her style is way too smart... I also love how she keeps pushing the envelope with her art direction the bright oversaturated colors were a cool contrast to the last video, the only draw back was the shameless product promotion!

Her wardrobe is once again over the top and its this exaggeration in the designs that makes me love her so, It's like we are soul neighbors who are constantly borrowing sugar from each other. Oh and I want that fucking phone hat, I can wear it at parties and shit its totally practical!


The video does well despite one blatant problem Beyonce. Let's face it Beyonce can sing when she wants too, her presence on this track and in this video is unencessary, she's being lazy and has no omph The only thing that she did correct was eat the damn Burrito Let's face it when it comes to acting she's beyond awful, Paris Hilton might be better then her, I mean did anyone see obsessed, I almost did for the cat fight, but Im not gonna sit through something two hours long to watch her stumble through her lines until the inevitable brawl!

Either way this is the greatest video ever because of the dick comment!

Performance Enhancer?

So I was at the gym today, I'm there quite a bit these days since I'm still looking for work. Anyways when I go to the gym I tend to use the same locker most of the time, I am a creature of habit. So today when I got there I went to go change and put my stuff away in my usual locker "69", yes I know Im so mature but hey whatever i'll always remember it. Now at my gym people tend to use the lockers without putting a lock on, so Im used to opening a locker and finding some old dudes suit or tighty whities, not today..... Today I opened the locker to find 4 bottles two XO Brandy and some bad Whiskey, I know Classy!

How the hell did they get there and WHY!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU GET DRUNK AT THE GYM THATS BEYOND COUNTER PRODUCTIVE!!! I mean how can anyone go to gym drunk and they had to be drunk from that amount. I can understand running drunk I used to do that when I was hyped up after barbacking for 10 hours but thats different it was 5 AM and no one else was around, I'd go home eat a pizza and then pass out!

Let's face it though it most likely came from a patron most likely or a surly janitor, or probably that dude at my gym who looks like a drunk sea captain whose lost his vessel and is landlocked!

Tagged

I was on hulu last night and spotted this gem. Let's face it those tags are beyond true, Im wondering how she even got the gig to host let alone be the musical guest but hey its a recession!