Belve is Better

The Wayback Machine: Saturday mornings greatest hits

2011-02-12T10:24:00.006-05:00

Most of us could never forget saturday morning cartoons, waking up, grabbing cereal,or maybe you were at a sleep over waking up in front of the TV. if you did forget what the fuck is a matter with you, stop reading this put your pj's on and go put on some Scooby Doo.Anyways I could never forget them to be honest. Now my generation had a few great ones but they tied in with after school cartoons mostly such as all Nicktoons and WB cartoons. The truly great ones I wasn't around for.

The original runs of Scooby Doo, Josie and the Pussycats (yes a gay imitation) were before my time, but most of them played repeats and I would watch religiously. Actually come to think of it I still watch my cartoons every week, I'll never grow up. I digress though one of the best things about some of these shows was the theme songs. Even growing up my music taste was on the rock side and I'll never forget the day my brother Greg brought home "Saturday Mornings Greatest Hits" a compilation of cartoon theme songs.

The compilation stretches 19 tracks and covers most my favorite old school shows. It kicks off with Liz Phair and material issue covering "The Banana song (TRA LA LA LA)" it's easily the poppiest I think she has ever done and it made it on to my running mix last year permanently. The next is "Sugar Sugar" by Mary Lou Lord and Semisonic, it perfectly captures the fun 60's groove of Archie. Next up is the king of Cartoon theme songs I'm talking of course about "Scooby Doo Where are you?" performed by Matthew Sweet, i must of played this a bunch as a kid and then again when I rediscovered it when I was 16. I swear I will never grow up.

After Scooby we of course have his gay imitation "Josie and the pussycats" performed by Juliana Hattfield and Tanya Donnelly (who? oh who cares its fucking good). After that the album dips out til the infamous Ramone's cover of "Spiderman". I honestly swear was there anything Joey Ramone couldn't do. Towards the end the album it gets a lil obscure for me but there is one amazing crown jewel, and that is Sublime's cover of "Hong Kong Phooey". Now I do not care for Sublime at all but this is a fucking winner and i can't even believe I'm saying that but yea love it! I feel that kids today are gipped when it comes to the opening theme song, its neat to see them immortalized as full songs, it makes them feel more competent even as low-art. While it just seems that todays cartoons are to sell crap and be cash cows!

Anyways while researching this I found the music videos made for this compilation featuring Drew Barrymore drunks 90's ass, Enjoy!

The Wayback Machine: Glenn Branca and his Noise Orchestra

2011-01-31T18:03:00.005-05:00

Noise. Some people hear it and it makes them feel disjointed, annoyed and down right uncomfortable. For others noise does the exact opposite they find melody and harmony in the chaos and disonance and revel in it. Personally I can't get enough, my first Sonic Youth concert was somewhat of a religious experience(if i ever had one). Noise rock first really started to make its roots in the 70's and 80's, and with it's proto-roots in the 60's with acts such as "The Velvet Underground" and the Avant Garde composer John Cage (who is a total MO fyi). In the 80's bands like Sonic Youth really set the bar and perfected free form noise as they called it but they weren't the first to kick ass with noise. Before SY though and setting the bar rather high might I add was Composer Glenn Branca.

Glenn Branca made his name first on the NYC music scene back in the late 70's as part of several bands. It really wasn't until the the 80's though that he made his truly groundbreaking works "Lesson No.1" and "The Ascension". Both of these works were highly influential to modern music and the indie scene of 90's, and 00's especially.

The two records consisted of a few arrangements each of mild length with the exception of the Ascension whch clocks in at 13 minutes. On these two Glenn assembles an orchestra of about 4-5 guitar players(which included Lee Ranaldo and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth) with one or two drum players. Branca here develops his signature style: use of repetition, feedback and of course droning which is really just too good on this album at times. Branca employs the use of alternative guitar tunings that he made himself to achieve his specific sound, much like that of his followers such as: SY, Liars, My bloody Valentine the list goes on.....

My favorite songs or arrangements as I should call them are "Lesson No.2" and "The Ascension". "Lesson No.2" made it on to my workout mix and hasnt left in months. It starts off with the thick churn of the guitar, yes it sounds like a churn, followed by a two punch of a drum that sounds as if its descending. I can only describe what follows as though it like someone's body having a breakdown walking down the street and dissolving into black, its breathtaking. "The Ascension" is much different it glitters and builds sounding of cold steel, then transforms into a warm glow that swallows the listener. Then it changes stopping and starting each time beaming back harder then the last .Truly Truly amazing stuff. And too boot it features one of my favorite album covers as well.

I leave you my favorite tracks by Glenn Branca and his ultra bad ass rock orchestra.

Never Nude's are real!

2011-01-28T13:04:00.006-05:00

Now we all have some shame about our bodies (I blame religion), or things we want to change, basically I think everyone just wants to look good naked as Kevin Spacey put it in "American Beauty". But there are some who are deeply afflicted with this shame they can't even be nude around themselves, I am of course talking about "Nevernudes"

Oh the nevernude! Nevernudes made there public debut in my absolute favorite television series "Arrested Development" On the show Tobias (David Cross) suffers from a rare condition in which he can never be naked, even in front of himself. To remedy this he wears cut off jean shorts at all times. It's pretty amazing, and it was one of the choices for my halloween costume the past two years. I mean who doesn't look hysterical/amazing in a good pair of cut offs. So Last night I was watching the show and it popped into my head what if this really was a real affliction. Well it turns out it is and it's called "Gymnophobia".

I couldn't believe that it actually exists as a disorder but it does, and wikipedia does not lie. Obviously it stems from the lockeroom situation but to not even be nude in front of yourself, I'm baffled. I'm vain, if I am near a mirror I will stare at myself and fix my appearance. So friend's when choosing places to eat out never take me to a restaurant with lots of mirrors I'd get lost in my gaze. But I digress my heart goes out to all the nevernudes out there, there are dozens of you and i've seen a few at my gym they shower with clothes on, Bizarre! But I will leave you with there patron saint Tobias Fuhke.

The Wayback Machine; Scorpio Rising

2011-01-16T21:07:00.010-05:00

When I was in art school which really wasn't too long ago, we had to watch what we called "art" films. Some of them were cool, some were irritating, while others were just well bad...... Most were were early on films that focused on style more then content, or they would be work about process. On occasion there was gem and this one of them

Scorpio Rising is a short film made by Kenneth Anger, it chronicles the activities of an NYC italian biker gang known as the Scorpios. The film is a focus mostly on the process of the bikers and there lifestyle it contains no dialogue. What it does contain is an amazing mash up to one of the greatest soundtracks ever put together. The film juxtaposes images of the bikers lifestyle (Drugs, bikes, booze, leather) up against hit singles from the 50's and 60's. Some of the featured tracks are "Hit The Road Jack"-Ray Charles, "Blue Velvet"-Bobby Vinton, "My Boyfriend is back"-The Angels, "Love is like a heat wave"-Martha Reeves, and "He's a Rebel" -The Crystals, "I Will Follow Him"- Little Peggy March (The infamous sister act song).

The film isn't cut and paste, in fact it is rather complex and its considered to be one of the first "post modern films". Essentially it starts off chronicling the bikers as they get ready for there evening. You know them fixing there bikes but after a few minutes it becomes clear that there's another intention in kenneth anger. Anger tries to impart an almost homoerotic air on the bikers in the film, quite frankly succeeds. At several points during the film he flashes the face on particular handsome biker, which can only be identified as alluring. During other parts he splices in scenes from comics that contain gay innuendos, and exploits the outright studlyness of James Dean at several points.

In my favorite scene which is juxtaposed to "Blue Velvet" we see footage of one biker getting dressed with specific attention paid to his torso, and his jeans.The viewer but can't hlp but feel the raw sexuality that he gives off, and you can't help but lust...

The film continues on to show that bikers at a private party in which they were masks, moon and pants each other. It's pretty gay but apparently there girlfriends are off camera, go figure. At the same time we see footage of one of the bikers decked in leather pissing on top of an altar, all of it very gay, very macho.

The film ends on a really fucked up note it actually has footage of a real dead body on camera. Apparently the film was supposed to end with a bike crash but it ended up happening for real, at the end you can see the dead bikers head as the police siren flashes.

The Wayback Machine: Little Peggy March

2011-01-05T20:50:00.003-05:00

Sister Act was a movie I loved as a kid, SURPRISE!!!!!!! I mean what gay doesn't love that movie? One of the most memorable moments for me, is at the end when the sisters sing "I Will Follow Him". Easily the best musical scene in the film. As a young one I adored it and use to sing it at the top of my lungs. Then I got older and the song faded away into the recesses of my brain(it's a frightening place) Until then one day in school we watched Scorpio Rising and it came flooding back, i needed to find out who did the song and thanks to Shazam on my iphone I was able to find it. The genius behind the song is Little Peggy March.

Peggy March or "Little Peggy March" is the voice behind the worldwide million seller "I will follow Him". She was discovered when she was 13, and recorded the song when she was 14!! So hold up Miley your not the first bitch on the block, learn your place! Anyways the song was released in 1963, it rocketed her to stardom. The song became a worldwide hit and was even recorded in other languages including Japanese. Unfortunatly for lil March though her business manager squandered the majority of her fortune. After that she got a new man to watch her money, and then later married him. She continued to have a music career well into the 70', and she current;y has a new album in development.

Peggy went on to record other singles, which weren't as popular as the first one but still good, they just didn't sell as well. After viewing scorpio rising i found myself scouring the internet for them it took me a long time to find anything digital. My personal favorite besides "I Will Follow HIm" are "Wind-up Doll" and "I wish I were a Princess". Both songs have made apapearances in films. I flipped when I watched Hairspray a few months ago and heard "I wish I were a Princess" in one of the scenes. Below are some of my favoite tracks by Peggy March, I've included for shits and giggles the Japanese version of "I Will Follow Him"

The Wayback Machine: Holidays edition

2010-12-19T22:27:00.005-05:00

So I meant when I said I need to start blogging more these days. So here is a holiday edition of the Wayback Machine.

This week we travel back to 1965 for what could be the greatest christmas special ever made. I'm talking of course about the wonderful slice of americana that is "A Charlie Brown Christmas". Now I just need to get this out of the way, I love Peanuts, I repeat Love and had somewhat of Linus complex as a child(I had security blanket). This is the one thing that I must watch every year without fail. Now that i've established that I can continue.

Now there are many things that make this a great special. Numero Uno is the music. "A Charlie Brown Christmas" was scored by Vince Guaraldi and remains at the top of my holiday music. The music beautifully underscores the quietness of Peanuts and accuentates the dryness of the characters. In a way the music becomes it's own character. One of my favorite tracks "Christmas time is here" has made reoccuring appearances in popular culture most notably in "The Royal Tenenbaums". Aside from that how the hell can you not like Schroder and his piano. You have to figure he was kind of the stud in Peanuts or at least Lucy always was after him, so he at least attracted one psycho bitch.

I digress though "A Charlie Brown Christmas" is special because of the one of the main principals that Peanuts ran on and that was heart. Peanuts was somewhat personal for cartoonist Charles Schultz, the characters were based off of childhood friends, so in that way he cared, the characters meant something to him. Charlie Brown in this story is down in the dumps over the commercilization of christmas and he feels that he and everyone else has lost touch. in an attempt to get back in touch he becomes director of the school play, it doesn't go well...there's some rude kids, a terminally ill tree and snoopy is being a diva as usual. Anyways at the end Charlie puts it all aside and finds the spirit of christmas along with the other children. (I cut out all the parts about the christianity stuff, hmm wonder why)

It's funny to think though that "A Charlie Brown Christmas" did suffer alot of problems one of the things is that the special was used by its sponsor Coca-Cola to hock soda to families. Too bad no one has seen a print with this since the first three years that it ran. Anyways I leave you with the opening of "A Charlie Brown"

The Wayback Machine

2010-12-12T21:29:00.005-05:00

So I've been wanting to start blogging again and one of the things I've decided to do is weekly segment one that I can at least stick to so here it is my new weekly segment THE WAYBACK MACHINE!!

Basically a quick blog about something that is from the past, henceforth the Mr. Peabody and Sherman reference.

So my for the first entry we are gonna travel back to the 30's and 40's to the euphoirc sound of "The Ink Spots". The Ink Spots were an all black vocal group and were one of the most popular vocal groups of all time. The group was known for it's simple song structure, beautiful lyrics and excellent specifically the tenor. In there time and they had several number one hits and there music has been covered and used in popular culture frequently. Quite frankly though I discovered them and one of favorite tracks while I was playing Bioshock and then another song was selected as the opening to Fallout 3. The group even inspired one of video pieces for my independent study. So for your viewing pleasure I have my two favorite tracks "If I didn't Care" which is the most popular, followed by "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire". I would of had 3 but it's hard to find them on youtube.

It's the most wonderful time of the year, and I work in retail

2010-12-04T22:05:00.004-05:00

I'm going to start off by saying that I haven't been blogging because I've been lazy/busy but today I realized that alot of interactions at work are blog worthy.

OK So picture it Long Island, present day. It is 10AM and it is a brisk December morning, the air is crisp and the sun is shining, and it's bright very bright. It seems like the sun is always brighter in the winter and yet today was no exception, or it was probably just my mild hangover. Anyways I drive to work and it's strangely easy, there's no one out on the road and the timing on all the traffic lights is just right and I breeze to work. I park, pay the meter and then go into my store through the front entrance since the gate is still down in the back. When I open the door and walk in I see my boss and a already in the store and I know this kid, and at this point it becomes clear this kid has been sent from some other dimension to punish me for something.

I walk behind the register hug my boss, we're cool like that and she shoots me a look of "You have to got to be kidding me, with this frickin kid" After our exchange he begins saying he wants to make an exchange the whole time being very antsy and not being able to finish a sentence. Nerds tend to get overexcited and can't finish sentences. Now straight nerds are annoying to deal with especially when your hungover and its even worse when they are quite strange looking. This patron in particular had front teeth that were not uniform and various size like a beaver that chipped a tooth.In addition he had one of those moustaches that's never going to come to fruition until he's in his late 20's til then it just looks gross but its so vile that you stare while trying not to look out of equal repulsion and fascination..

Anyways he plops his backpack on the floor and pulls out a 360 and 3 games and a 120 GB hard drive. So I ask so what you looking for and he exclaims the new 4 GB xbox bundle. Now follow here the customer is exchanging the 120 GB model for a 4GB just because its newer.So I do the return . Now we have no bundles so i inform the kid that they bundle in the ad is just some stuff thrown together which it is. I recommend buying the system with a hard drive and a game as opposed to the fore mentioned "bundle", which just includes a charge cable and an HDMI. He exclaims yea but this "bundle sounds like a sweet deal". I then drudge to the back retrieve the system. I plop the system on the counter and the kid looks dumbfounded and asks "I thought this was a bundle wheres the other stuff?". I turn from the customer and rub my temples I feel like ass. i tell him its not packaged together and he then steps aside to think about it. Now this is a no fuckin brainer would you exchange a system with a 120 GB hard drive for 4GB? FUCK NO

After a few he comes back and decides to go with the previously mentioned "bundle". I ring it up and then he begins to complain how nothing in the bundle is on sale. I then reassure the kid is that's what I told him and that it wasn't a wise decision. But once again he does not listen and then paid 100 bucks out of pocket for a system downgrade. All the while exclaiming wow what sweet bundle. Now in my line of work theres a fine line between idiot, nerd and aspergers, this kid was definitely the first one. He then proceeded to leave and get on his bike with the system in hand.

Later that day he called to tell us that the system he returned had a game stuck in it and they'd he'd be back after a week to get it. Yea he's never coming for it, people are dumb.

Tis the Season

2010-10-20T17:57:00.005-04:00

Yay my favorite holiday is almost here, and obviously I'm talking about Halloween. Yes Halloween, I love nothing more then an excuse to watch bad horror movies, put on a ridiculous costume, consume large amounts of candy then followed by drinking. Last year was pretty good but Halloween is always good it is me and my bf's anniversary and this year it's #3 but this will be our 4th halloween together.

Last year was great, I was Terry from Reno 911, and My bf was Lt. Dangle. We ended up marching in the parade with my friend Doug, who then proceeded to make out with some totally busted chick, but he was thoroughly drunk so it's all good(no it's not). The parade was fun and we ended up just going from bar to bar finally ending up at bartini and gettin wasted with a mormon wedding. All in all a good time.

Now usually I get really into Halloween in the past I have been Passion of the Christ Jesus in which i was covered head to toe in fake blood. Then before that I was a secretary, but only because I was gonna be teen wolf but then Michael J Fox released a video of him talking about his Parkinson's so i figured it be in bad taste, and also i couldn't return the wig. I wore a red dress with the biggest shoulder pads you've ever seen, and didn't shave a thing. Followed by hipster zombie (yea that was a dud!) and zombie lumberjack(winner).

Now usually, I have a ton of ideas of what to do or be but this year I'm stumped I for once have no clue. i need to get the ball rolling on this one. Anyways here is the only picture that exsists of my secretary costume i have no recollection of the most of this evening, and a picture of last years affair. Anyways I'll be writing a second part to this entirely devoted to halloween candy.

Fuck Twilight, Go See Let Me In

2010-10-14T16:55:00.007-04:00

I just got back from seeing "Let Me In" , the remake of the danish/Swedish (it's all the same to me there weird and fair skinned) film and all I have to say is this Fuck Twilight and Fuck Stephanie Meyers and the hack camel she rode in on. Sorry I've been holding that back for a while.

The movie focuses on a young boy named Owen who lives in New Mexico. Owen is picked on and bullied at school, and since having no friends the boy befriends his next door neighbor Abby a girl who only comes seems to come out at night. Over time it becomes clear shes a vampire, and the two develop a friendship, which is the main emphasis of the film. It's screwed up but that good kind of screwed up especially when the bullies get there comeuppance.

No but seriously I applaud the makers of "Let Me In" this movie was solid and faithful to the original without watering down the content, which sadly is what happens with most foreign films when they get remade in America. Not this one though they managed to keep the same feel and mood of the original but of course though since this is America they upped the amount of blood, which is fine this a is a vampire flick, bring it on.

One of the films strongest parts is that it doesn't focus on too much vampire explaining the vampire lore, it doesn't ask stupid back story questions and just keeps it to the basic, She needs blood. she can't go out in the daylight otherwise she explodes, and finally you have to invite her in otherwise blood will ooze out of there bodies and that's not gonna come out of the carpet easily. I like that the film didn't answer questions or try to humanize her habit like Stephanie Meyers does in twilight. I mean honestly vegetarian Vampires, that's fucking lame.

Anywho I give this a movie an A, it was awesome, Fuck Twilight! Oh and on that final note Vampires are supposed to burst into flames when exposed to sunlight not glitter like a damn disco ball!

HOTT

2010-10-13T21:59:00.006-04:00

So i was at work today,when I went walking over to panera to fill up my soda cup ( i buy one a week and re use it, don't judge its a recession). Anyways while I was bending down to dump my soda out onto the curb I picked my head and was met with this.

Wow, HottMess I mean come on REALLY someone actually made this there vanity plate. Whats even worse is that hot has two t's so you know that there is some other winner who resides in this good state who has already chosen "HotMess". I mean can you imagine this person at the DMV being told that someone much trashier has already beaten them to the punch. But I think what make really awful is that they framed in the plate in a peace sign plastered frame, I feel that a "south of the border" or "Senor Frog's" would of been more befitting. Unfortunately I didn't get to see the owner the goddess that owns this vehicle, but I can only imagine what she looked like, and all i can say is I'm sure they will haunt me in my dreams....

Also they were parked in a handicapped spot without permit. HOTTMESS

Come out, come out wherever you are!

2010-10-11T14:46:00.002-04:00

So I'd just like to say especially in light of recent events nationwide, Happy Coming Day. I came out actually six years ago sometime during this month and can honestly say it was the best thing i have ever done. After coming out I finally started to feel that I belong and those ads aren't whitsling dixie it does get better. in honor of national coming out day I give you Ms Cyndi Lauper.

Back

2010-10-05T16:14:00.001-04:00

I'm blowing the dust off this blog. New entry later today.

Story of the Year

2010-05-20T20:34:00.004-04:00

So I overheard this story. Unfortunately I cannot divulge where, and when or exactly whom but for the story sakes.

So I was in a retail store that may or may or not buy and sell used games. Anyways this gentleman was lamenting over the loss of his beloved Xbox 360. Now this is common for one of those things to break because of a design flaw that Microsoft has never changed! Anyways we all that over head just assumed it was the normal red ring of death malfunction that happens to every onwner. But nope apparently this dude broke his X-Box deliberately so we asked how and why? And so he told us....

Apparently this gentleman was using his computer through his tv in order to webcam (yea he wasnt shy about it at all) with women online. (Wait they're women out there who webcam really!?) So apparently this specfic session as he called it was particularly hot and began to escalate. So the girl eventually asks this dude to piss on himself and something electronic so what does he do? He pulls his Xbox out which is on and lets his stream loose on himself and then his Xbos which is on and begins to spark and crackle. Apparently he told us that the session got even crazier but we all declined the details we were all about to loose our lunch. So the gentleman if we can call him that, revealed that he had broken four other cams in the past with his camming antics. My only questions is What the fuck did he do to those other cams? No wait on second thought I don't want to know.

Crush

2010-05-20T20:21:00.006-04:00

Sorry for the hiatus I have been busy since I now have some sort of a job.

Anyways I recently discovered Ian Roberts the first out Rugby Player. I think its safe to say he's kind of perfect in every way and it looks like he's got a big one!

COUNTESS!!!!!!!

2010-04-26T16:13:00.003-04:00

WTF THE COUNTESS HAS RELEASED A SINGLE "MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU CLASS". THIS IS BEYOND TERRIBLE, WHERE DOES ONE BEGIN THE LYRICS, THE VOCAL FILTER, HER!!!!! ALL I GOTTA SAY THAT THIS IS WORSE THEN KIM FROM REAL HOUSEWIVES, LIKE WAY WORSE. ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THAT SHE IS SOME SORT OF MAN IN DRAG SINGING.

Download Countess LuAnn - Money Can't Buy You Class

New Muse's

2010-04-25T21:43:00.003-04:00

So once in a great while the stars seem to align and alot of good music gets put out all at once. As we know LCD is dropping there album in May right before I see them. The other great new piece of musical goodness is Broken Social Scene's new album titled Forgiveness Rock Record. SOOOO FUCKIN GOOOOOOOD!

I love BSS for so many reasons! It all started when I was 17 and I saw them for free at an instore at Other Music (How did a 7 person band fit in that place??). Little did I know at the time I was standing inches from Feist at the time. But I digress they blew me away, and they continue to do so with every record and this new one is no exception. As always the album feels somewhat very Lush, which is natural considering how many musician play on the album. BSS is made up of several bands and the album usually has 25+ people playing on it. But what I love is that this band always seems to be working so well together, and the music feels that it's almost effortless.

Also the new Caribou Album "Swim" is pretty frickin sweet too!

Ok Ripa, you win!

2010-04-23T16:10:00.002-04:00

There are alot of dumb celebs out there. I wrote Kelly Ripa off when she was working with Regis mostly because I despise Regis Philbin. Anyways the girl won respect from me when I discovered this SNL Commercial. I love seeing a celebrity doing something so against there character and sometimes it borders on genius, this is one of those times!

Happy 4/20

2010-04-20T11:03:00.001-04:00

Happy 4/20! (check out this blast from the past!)

Bloomin Bukake's

2010-04-18T14:05:00.002-04:00

So spring is here and this means many things mostly that everything is in bloom and pretty again. Most of the time this is a pleasant season unless you suffer from allergies, then it's hell, but i enjoy spring because everything smells fresh again. Anyways I was running today when my nose was roused by a familiar smell I looked around to notice the Dogwood trees are in bloom or as call them "The Bukake Tree" OR "Cum Tree". Either way you get the same image.

I have deemed them "Bukake tree's" because they smell like baby batter, or what i would imagine a cum bath would smell like, it's as simple as that! Also they do not faintly smell like it, they smell exactly like it. Now this wouldn't have been so bad if my town hadn't decided to plant them on every block! So while I was running today it felt like I was stuck in a bad porno that was stuck on the moneyshot! Seriously It smells like on old cum rag in this town! I wonder if my town was aware of these tree's strange side effect of smelling like spooge! Thankfully there only in bloom for a few days and then it's over!

LCD

2010-04-15T11:52:00.004-04:00

I haven't been to a good show in a long time, like since 2007 when I saw The Arcade Fire and LCD Soundsystem! Well maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, I've seen shows but nothing at a big venue. Well that's about to change in the next two months because I'm going to see Hole and then a month later LCD SOUNDSYSTEM!!!!

Now i was supposed to see Hole at my first concert (I was like 11 or 12 I think) the Dysfunctional Family Picnic III at Jones Beach but she had to cancel due to well......DRUGS remember this was late 90's Courtney we're talking. Also Coincidentally STP was supposed to play but Scott Weiland also had to cancel due to his love for the chasing the dragon! Well now my bf is finally making me see Hole with him and I'm sure its gonna be great or either its gonna be fun to watch her be fucked up that is if she still does party!?!

Anyways what I'm really excited to see is LCD Soundsystem. I've seen them twice and both times they've been awesome. The last time ranks among one of the best concerts I've ever been too. The band also managed to outperform the Arcade Fire and in my opinion stole the show. I just can't wait to see what they do this tour!

American Idiot? Indeed

2010-04-14T00:11:00.005-04:00

Ok so let me start by saying I don't hate Green Day, I enjoy a few of there songs from way back when I was a young one. Now that I've said that WHY THE HELL ARE THOSE FUCKTARDS GETTING A MUSICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!Like fucking seriously I can not fathom this one, I mean just why? .Don't these guys make enough money from there Hot Topic merch sales! I guess I'm being so harsh because this shit is gonna be bad, like Suessical bad. I reason this because it's probably gonna be pretty damn cheesy and angsty and that's not fun, muscials are supposed to be fun and well ok cheesy! But not Angsty I get enough of that from old episodes of Party of five that still haunt my dreams. Anyways I can understand a group ABBA having that abortion known as Mamma Mia because lets face it we've all been drunk at one point or another and have gotten down too Dancing Queen or SOS!

Finally Green Day you aren't Punk, this isn't Punk, you are lame..... but what do I know u got a fucking muscial!

1 year and 28 lbs heavier!

2010-04-09T11:23:00.006-04:00

About one year ago I made the conscious decision to start working out. Now l made this decision for many reasons mostly to get stronger because I was well shimpy .I also I did this in an effort to be healthier (still working on that one, White castle is just too good).Well last year this time I weighed somewhere around 142 lbs at 5'8 and now I weigh 170 lbs and I feel so much better. I mean of course now none of my pants fit especially my jeans which I live in. I digress though there are just too many plusses now of bulking up like I can actually move and carry things with ease,I can run farther and its easier, I can wrestle Jeff and win! (well sometimes win I let him win sometime) All in all a good move to get fit. Now for this year I plan on getting bigger and more toned.

Also I'd like to add that the stairmaster is not a toy but a serious piece of equipment that will whoop ur ass!

Oh and also Lean Dessert Protein and this gay site's www.realjock.com workout plans help as well!

Yea Still Hot!

2010-04-08T11:23:00.004-04:00

Holy fuck balls I saw this pic of Mark Wahlberg today on towleroad and my jaw totally dropped. Jesus tap dancing christ he is still freakin sexy and I think he's getting better looking with every year, which men tend to do. Except for when they that weird age when they start to look like an aunt!

The Evil Right has an Anthem!

2010-04-06T22:28:00.004-04:00

So I was playing Bioshock 2 when I stumbled across the rights's anthem. Bioshock FYI is a game set during the 50's and 60's in which you fight drug crazed mutated citizens and in an underwater city known as Rapture. One of the things that significant about the game is the music which is mostly selections from early 20th century jazz and big band music. It's particularly effective in being creepy and awesome, and it has spurred a love for olde tunes. (The Ink Spots specifically)

Anyways while I was playing earlier I came across this little diddy "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" by Kay Kyser and His Orchestra. Now WTF this song has to be the anthem of the evil right! I mean first just look at the title alone its all about God, guns and freedom and GW must've creamed his pants when he first read it. Chances are this song came out of one of the great wars. Anyways I can see an army of Little Sean Hannity's charging into a battlefield with this blaring. Terrifying I know but about the left!

If the left had a an anthem I think it would be.... Abba "Take a chance on me" Don't ask why just go with it!

MMMMMMMMM

2010-04-03T18:05:00.000-04:00

Happiness is a homemade Pineapple Upside Down Cake!

But why?

2010-04-01T16:22:00.008-04:00

So there was a major travesty that occured this week I'm talking of course about the elimination of Pandora's Boxx from "RuPaul's Drag Race". I like many other have been rooting for Pandora since the beginning of the season, althoughI'm partially biased having spent the past few years in rochester and having a bf who worked at Tilt where she performs at. Anyways I was shocked by this weeks outcome and by the "challenge" or as like to call it a tranny wreck!

This week's challenge was to take "silver foxes" and turn them into "golden gals". OK so none of these guys were foxes sorry you need to be at least decent looking to use that term me thinks. Secondly they were all like seriously strange, like what the fuck were the producers thinking when they were picking out these dudes? I felt myself asking where the fuck did they pick these guys up? Also that had to have been the most fucked up challenges i've ever seen on any reality tv show. The whole challlenge seemed so rushed and haphazarded that they were trying to doom them all.

In the end it came down to Pandora and Juju being on the bottom and in the end Pandora was sadly eliminated. Anyways I felt Tatiana was way worse in this challenge and just doesn't belong on the show still. She just looks really freakin pretty, which is kind of scary! Tyra needs to go as well the only thing that she has in common with Beyonce is there inability to speak the english language properly!

Pandora was the only real contender I thought for the title. I say this because she was the only true drag queen. I felt that for the most part that the majority of these queens just looked sort of good and liked to play dress up, which is fun we've all worn a big wig and stumble in high heels drunkenly time to time. Although aside from looking it just seemed that all the others lacked personality to there character and more importantly they lacked talent. Seriously if you send these queens on tour what are they gonna do? Lip synch? Dance? is that really talent? Whatever I'm sure Pandora is gonna be way better off. I just have one question that I want to be answered by the end of the season....

What the fuck does the interior illusions lounge look like?

(Pandora Spanking my boo up top)

F-unemployment

2010-03-31T10:28:00.003-04:00

Last year in the spring I graduated from college, exciting yes! I know I was thrilled, and so were my parents especially with never having to make another tuition payment again (I was the last of 4 kids). After school ended I moved back home to stay with my family and save money but most importantly above all find a job! Well it's how many months later and Im still unemployed! Thanks Economy!

You know what sometimes it's not even that! It's where I fucking live and the poeple who are looking to hire, they just suck I think. After months of sending out my resumes and applying for work I still havent gotten even a call for an interview, this excluding the ones for internships which I both nailed and got and then lost the one due to Tonsilitis. Most infuriatiing is that not even any of the restaurants I've applieed to have called me back for even an interview WTF! Is it because all my experience is from upstate is that somehow lesser then Long Island, trust me the place I worked upstate beats any joint down here. I don't understand how Long Island doesn't see that it is this close to being a joke just like Jersey and Staten Island (Sorry cousins) I meean come on I am a young, nice, hard working person with so much to give why won't someone love me!!! wait sorry wrong speech I MEAN GIVE ME A JOB!!!!!

Ya Don't Say!

2010-03-29T19:00:00.005-04:00

GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh please like we didn't already know! Between the good hair, tan, body, and the fact that he has a child with some ho just like Clay Aiken, and that uber hot dude he's with can't just be his friend or tennis instructor. I mean was he really hiding it, I thought I was hiding it when I was younger. The kids at school saw right through me plus having patent leather Adidas in middle school probably didn't help.

Anyways this occasion has me wanting to cheer "Gay" like how latin american soccer commentators scream "GOAL!!!!!" and then the crowd goes wild!!!! Also on another note, I'd hit it and his friend!

ROCKET!!

2010-03-24T20:25:00.007-04:00

ROCKET is so damn good, it was on repeat as I ran today, I tried listening to other things but I just couldn't shake it, so it went on repeat!

My Boo!

2010-03-22T18:58:00.005-04:00

As a child I was not allowed certain cereals because they were deemed as how you would say uh... Crap.

I beg to disagree I love pretty much all cereal, even the weird healthy ones like museli. As a frequent eater of the stuff I recently have noticed a very depressing trend the past few years and that is the disappearance of my three friends of Boo Berry, Franken Berry, and Count Chocula from supermarkets. Now this makes me sad, one because I didn't get to try the stuff til college, and two because there all heavenly especially Boo. After I first tried the stuff I went right back out to Wal-mart and bought several more boxes. But around last year I started to notice its presence waining in supermarkets. I don't want it to go the way of Quisp(Cap"N Crunches less painful counterpart)

On another ghost/ghoul/food related note. Anyone remember HI-C Ecto Cooler, I miss that stuff it was divine!

Archer!

2010-03-21T23:23:00.005-04:00

Im in love with FX's "Archer" it might be the funniest shows on TV. This show is amazing it's like if "Arrested Development" had an orgy with "Sealab 2021" and "James Bond". The show follows Sterling Archer, his overbearing mother voiced by the comedic delight that is Jessica Walters, and the rest of the ISIS spy agency .

There are so many good things about this show. First and foremost is Jessica Walters who essentially play's an oversexed mean spirited drunk, who easily has the best and meanest lines in the show, very Lucille Bluth (Jeffery Tambor makes an appearance on the show as well). I feel that she plays the drunk really well, it doesn't even feel likes she's really acting. Her storylines revolve around her sleeping with the KGB and one uppingt the head of her Co-op board Trudy Beekman.

Secondly is Archer. He's just terrible, like the biggest self absorbed, douche bag, horndog ever, it's amazing and I love it! Voice acted by H. Jon Benjamin who has one of the greatest voices ever, it's deep and manly. I just wished he looked as good as Archer instead of well he looks .... Well anyway the main character is hysterical and IDK I find the smartass/jackasses amusing and loveable no matter how much an ass they are, and Archer is a total ass.

Third, is the staff of ISIS who are equally as deplorable as the main characters,but also they remind us that although it is a spy agency, its also a normal office workplace They often discuss workplace situations such as the "food rapist" in the office break room and the change over of there accounting system. MY favorite ISIS employee though is the overweight undersexed Pam and her dolphin puppet which she uses to mediate workplace disputes and issues!

Besides the characters the show makes good use of creating it own world in which it continuously pools jokes from much like Arrested Development which was the best tv show ever and the most postmodern comedy ever. Also in the vein of A.D it has well thought out pop culture references. Archer reminds me alot of Arrested Development, but this show is far more outlandish and well sick and thats why I love it!

The show also has it's token gay episode "Honeypot" and a token gay character Agent Gillette who is a loveable bitch!

2010-03-21T23:20:00.002-04:00

IM FUCKING ADDICTED TO THESE, THEY ARE SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!

So wait these are supposed to be good?

2010-03-19T18:46:00.004-04:00

Now for those who don't know I've got a sweet tooth, maybe not just a sweet tooth but an insatiable lust for all candies and baked goods! Besides this too I love food, and NYC has some of the best restaurants and bakeries in the world. So a few years ago a dear friend and at the time my boss introduced me to the wonderful world of cupcakes at Billy's Bakery. Ever since then I've developed a love and have even coveted the bakeries the recipe and improved on it (Believe me mine are even better) Since then i've tried all the cupcake bakeries manhattan with the exception of a few still. So this week I had magnolia's cupcakes...

Now for those who don't know this is the "It" bakery for cupcakes and I have the baking book and from what i've tried so far has been good. Well I finally tried there regular cupcakes, and honestly if people are lining up for these cupcakes then there's something wrong, because they SUCK!!!! I think Magnolia's has the worst cupcake that I have yet to taste from the cupcakeries. No why do I say this? Well there Vanilla was dry and lacking vanilla and the frosting was all sugar, I assure you it will give you diabetes! The chocolate tasted fake almost like one of those damn hostess cakes. My bf had the red velvet which I've made before and these weren't eveen close to as good as the ones I made.

So here's what's gonna happen if this is what is considered good baking. Im going to open my own damn bakery and stomp the competition because the people have the right to line up around the block for something that is actually good!

On a side note if you live in NYC and want good cupcakes go to crumbs, Billy's bakery isn't what it used to be!

Lil shop

2010-03-14T23:33:00.003-04:00

So the boy and I decided to take a break from SVU the other night, what did we watch instead ? well something different although it still had domestic violence which I can assure you is completly coincidental....

We watched "Little shop of Horrors" yep the classic Frank Oz film starring Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, and Steve Martin. Let's face it though the real stars of this film is Ellen Greene's voice and the three black back up singers! Ellen Greene's voice is a wonder of the modern age, I mean it goes from soft and breathy too well I don't even know how to describe it!

The three back up singers are the other stars in the film they're in every number and are by fair the most talented singers in the film, that is next to Ellen Greene's golden vocal chords! Aside from there singing there the postmodern angels of the film, I say this because there roles shift constantly and somehow magically there costumes change and time doesn't apply. Or there just magic, yea thats it magic...

And if you don't believe in the magic that is Ellen Greene observe:

Sexiest Man Alive!

2010-03-13T10:58:00.014-05:00

So the husband and I have been watching a lot of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit these days, mostly because its on our netflix instant queue and the show is great to fall asleep to if you like being lulled to sleep by screams and that law order scene change sound! But the real reason we watch it and probably the reason why Im gay is, Christopher Meloni!

The first time I ever saw him was probably the first time I ever said wow he's hot (I was like 13 at the time). He is the sexiest man alive! No contest, he's pure man, machsimo whatever the fuck you call it! His perfromance on the show "OZ", is probably the reason that Im gay, I used to wait up and watch that show back in the day on HBO like it was my job! I never missed it, there was too much of a chance that i'd miss seeing christopher meloni nude and/or naked with other inmates or being thrusted nude into the hole. Or what about that episode where he bent over spread his cheeks, HOT! And let's face it he got naked pretty frequently on that show like almost every episode I want to say. My only complaint was his prison bitch Beecher, who doesn't do a thing for me!

I think what makes him so sexy is that tall, thick, muscular body and I don't even mind that lil bit of chunk that he acquired during his 11 seasons on SVU, its the reason that they never show his chest full on, on tv now, lame! That face too he's got great eyes oh and he's hung! So all around he kind of the perfect man! Oh and I also have a thing for Matt Damon (to whom my bf bares a resemblance too!)

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

2010-03-12T16:09:00.004-05:00

So I just finished watching the masterpiece known as Lady Gaga's "Telephone". I have to say once again that I am floored by this music video its just fucking awesome and for so many reasons too. Just for the sheer fact that she addresses the tranny rumor in the first minute with "I told you she didn't have a fucking dick" WOW! That's so ballsy, no other pop star would address that shit if it was said about them. But I can't think of her as a pop star anymore I'm starting to have to agree that she is an entertainer or performance artist, pop star is trashy and her style is way too smart... I also love how she keeps pushing the envelope with her art direction the bright oversaturated colors were a cool contrast to the last video, the only draw back was the shameless product promotion!

Her wardrobe is once again over the top and its this exaggeration in the designs that makes me love her so, It's like we are soul neighbors who are constantly borrowing sugar from each other. Oh and I want that fucking phone hat, I can wear it at parties and shit its totally practical!

The video does well despite one blatant problem Beyonce. Let's face it Beyonce can sing when she wants too, her presence on this track and in this video is unencessary, she's being lazy and has no omph The only thing that she did correct was eat the damn Burrito Let's face it when it comes to acting she's beyond awful, Paris Hilton might be better then her, I mean did anyone see obsessed, I almost did for the cat fight, but Im not gonna sit through something two hours long to watch her stumble through her lines until the inevitable brawl!

Either way this is the greatest video ever because of the dick comment!

Performance Enhancer?

2010-03-05T18:32:00.002-05:00

So I was at the gym today, I'm there quite a bit these days since I'm still looking for work. Anyways when I go to the gym I tend to use the same locker most of the time, I am a creature of habit. So today when I got there I went to go change and put my stuff away in my usual locker "69", yes I know Im so mature but hey whatever i'll always remember it. Now at my gym people tend to use the lockers without putting a lock on, so Im used to opening a locker and finding some old dudes suit or tighty whities, not today..... Today I opened the locker to find 4 bottles two XO Brandy and some bad Whiskey, I know Classy!

How the hell did they get there and WHY!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU GET DRUNK AT THE GYM THATS BEYOND COUNTER PRODUCTIVE!!! I mean how can anyone go to gym drunk and they had to be drunk from that amount. I can understand running drunk I used to do that when I was hyped up after barbacking for 10 hours but thats different it was 5 AM and no one else was around, I'd go home eat a pizza and then pass out!

Let's face it though it most likely came from a patron most likely or a surly janitor, or probably that dude at my gym who looks like a drunk sea captain whose lost his vessel and is landlocked!

Tagged

2010-03-01T10:38:00.003-05:00

I was on hulu last night and spotted this gem. Let's face it those tags are beyond true, Im wondering how she even got the gig to host let alone be the musical guest but hey its a recession!

THERE's A REASON THEY'RE CALLED KILLER WHALES!

2010-02-28T13:18:00.004-05:00

So I was reading the BBC news today and discovered this story! Apparently a few days ago one of the killer whales at Sea World killed one of its trainers! Now Im not an animal rights activist by any means, well i do love animals like dogs and cats you know the furry cuddly kind and come on who doesn't there all so cute, but any animal that has killer in its name maybe shouldn't be contained and forced to jump in front of crowds for a fish, just a thought! I mean there called Killer Whales for a reason people.

Now Picture it: Florida! Your a young child maybe of 7 or 8 years old you and your family are on a trip to Orlando hitting up all the parks, your really stoked on it your a kid! Now today your family is going to Sea World! Your gonna see whales, fish and seals and whatever else they have there (I don't even remember that place when I went it was boring!) , So your parents take you to the gift shop first and they buy you a poncho, a hat shaped like a seal or something goofy and a shamu toy ( one of them plush dolls). So then your family goes to get seats that put you fairly out of the splash range. The show begins the trainer comes out and then the Whale begins to rise out of its tank, Your mesmorized by the creature and its immense size being a small kid, you know its like some real "Free Willy" kind of shit. So then the whale does a trick or two and your in total awe, The moments later the trainer goes to feed the Orca and thats when things go wrong. The Whale pulls the trainer down into the tank, you think its playing but then its not the whale begins to pull down the trainer and ramming them into the wall. you cry and scream with the onlookers all the while holding the toy whale until you finally let go as the trainer's lifeless body floats up. BAM VACATION RUINED, and LIFE SCARRED!

Yea Fucked up I know, but whats even more fucked is that the same whale has killed two other trainers. So ok one dies and you can blame it on animal behavior instinct whatever! A second person dies you think you'd consider maybe retiring the whale or something but wait a third person dies and you still have the damn whale perform, isn't there an understudy whale who just dying to be in the spotlight. Either way I think that whale's a killer!

Resurrection

2010-01-18T11:24:00.001-05:00

Im resurrecting the original Belve is Better blog. Tumblr has become pointless since people can't leave comments.

Mr. Show

2008-08-30T12:57:00.002-04:00

This show was fantastic Case and point.

It'll do

2008-08-22T15:57:00.002-04:00

So I have a new guilty pleasure. Can you guess it?? It's Ghost shows. Yes thats right TV shows about ghosts, and specifically "A Haunting" on the Discovery Channel.

I don't know what it is but I just find this show so entertaining. It's probably because of the cheesy reenactments. They implore the same eerie cheesy feeling that unsolved mysteries used to do. I miss Unsolved Mysteries tremendously btw! There used to be nothing like that creepy Robert Stack scaring the shit out of me as a Young child! And if it wasn't him that left me feeling uneasy at the end of an episode I would be what happened to the drifter they featured. So heres a few possibilities:

1. He got a sex change.
2. Death by drinking too much and falling in a Ditch
3. Went Crazy.
4. Outside your house waiting to rape anything that moves!
5. White Oprah!

Although We all know that just wasn't about disappearing wierdos, it also featured ghosts, aliens, and occasionally truly investigative reporting. Observe!

sunshine

2008-08-19T13:01:00.001-04:00

Sad but True

2008-08-14T15:41:00.003-04:00

So my boyfriend made me watch an episode of A&E's "Intervention". Our personal favorite is Sylvia and her insane ways.This week we met Allison. Whats her addiction? you might ask well it isn't booze, pills, pot, heroin, morhpine, meth, coke, K, ecstasy, DMT, or Crack. Allison's little helper is Canned air duster.....

I didn't even know this shit could fuck people up..... Where does someone even get the urge to suck on a can I can understand pot and booze and the velvet underground made heroin cool but, Canned air what the fuck?! Ever turn one of those can upside down it shoots out an instant freezing liquid that evaporates.Oh! and watch the video the girl looks brain dead when shes on that shit. ALthough I can't help but laugh when she say's "Im walking on sunshine!"

Even Better

2008-08-13T11:11:00.000-04:00

I really love chelseA! i seriously get goosebumps when I watch her as White Oprah. I caught this last night and I thought it was even more genius then her first stint as W.O. Check out her clip from the season finale of living lohan. DAmn L.I. trash.

Thank god for chelsea!

2008-08-12T21:28:00.002-04:00

Just one more reason why Chelsea and Heather are amazing!!

I hate Miley and the Jonas Brothers with a fiery passion.

Bday or Doomsday?

2008-08-08T16:22:00.003-04:00

So today the anti-christ was born. No no no Im not talking about me. Im talking about that abomination that Gayken had with dried up cougar. Either way my birthday has been shamed even worse then last year.

Picture it! Greenpoint Two thousand and seven!

My 21st birthday at Matchelss in Greenpoint. I broke 4 glasses in an hour, had billy's cupcakes frosting on my shirt and passed out in my friends car but all without puking. Anyways I survived that night unfortunately two animals didn't. My friend moved into his new apartment that day and while we were out at the bar his dog broke into his other roommates room and snapped both there pet bunnies necks. It was tragic.

Anyways I think now that it was omen of Gayken trying to bring the apocalypse. He's just fuckin creepy.

Ms. Griffin

2008-07-30T14:27:00.004-04:00

I love me some Kathy Griffin. Sure her voice can be a little on the irritating side but gosh darnit she's hysterical. The boy and I are going to see her live on the 10th in Canandaigua. For being on the d-list she's pulling in a good crowd actually. I've included one of my favorite segments from her stand up.

P.S. Here Mom rules she's 86 and still a firecracker!

Weeknight lover

2008-07-25T17:26:00.003-04:00

Currently there is only one gal I'd bite the bullet for and try to be straight. She is of course chelsea Handler.

Her dry sarcastic wit, and dirty hot pocket comments is frankly what i need to get through the day sometimes. Also her panel is pretty good consistently. Check out this lil sketch making fun of white Oprah and her other talentless daughter, you know the one!

Penis Plant

2008-07-23T13:25:00.003-04:00

So for some reason today I decided to start looking up the worlds largest flowers. It probably has everything to do with the video game hes playing. So anyways I was reading up on the biggest flower also known as the corpse flower or titan arum, because of its offensive smell. They say it smells like rotting flesh but I'd guess its more like star jones old vajayjay!

So this is the said plant, As I was reading up on it i couldn't help but notice this tid bit The titan arum or Amorphophallus titanum (from Ancient Greek amorphos, "without form, misshapen" + phallos, "penis", and titan, "giant") . In short its a big old smelly dick!

Gay

2008-07-20T22:07:00.002-04:00

So this past weekend was Rochester's pride weekend. In brief I worked most of it away but I did manage to make it to the parade. And since my bf and his friends are such bitches we stationed ourselves near the protesters.

Honest to good they were the real show since the roc parade is missing drag queens endlessly trapped in a k-hole. How hate mongering religious zealots does it take to make a proper sign. The answer is way more then you think. The one protester didnt even have a proper sign having to do with gays and there perverted ways as they put it. Anywho the one persons sign read "Star Wars is occultism" and on the other side it read "Hillary should be home doing the dishes" Either one is baffling. My boyfriend told the boys mother if thats her view that she shoulkd get her fat ass back in the kitchen. To my suprise none of these people had a college degree and claimed earthly education doesn't matter for the lord.

Just Becuz

2008-07-12T13:57:00.003-04:00

For those who don't know Im obsessed with the show American Dad! I find everything about it to be a delight. Heres a clip that reminds why i love the show and also reminds me of the kind of world we live in. Oh Iran Contra!

Delivery Tales

2008-07-11T22:38:00.002-04:00

A new segment i will be featuring is delivery tales. For those who don't know my part time job right now is delivering mexican food. In the past few months I have had some interesting experiences believe you me! Also Rochester has worse drivers then queens.

My first goes to that women whose across main street. This happened about a week or two ago and I almost cried it was so hysterical. For those who don't know main street is an interesting area, you know interesting people (crackheads, families, DMT, meth addicts). Anyways I show up and a relatively frumpy women is already waiting. Now her deck is being worked on and there was a wood beam between us that she used as a counter. I give her food and she proceeds into the recesses of the house to sign the credit slip. Moments later she exits cocks her head in the back in the air and hands me slip to say "I'd like my copy and my receipt" The bitch was just holding them. I gave them to her to see that she has not tipped and so I walk off. Approaching my car I look down on the grass in front of her house to see a bloody tampon. EWWWWWWWWWW! the bitch just acted like she was royalty and she's got dirty feminine hygiene products on her lawn. I got into my car and pulled down the street I was laughing so hard I almost crashed into a curb. The wonder that is rochester.

VH1

2008-07-11T18:40:00.002-04:00

After viewing the highly controversial of boondocks. You know the one where BET is trying to destroy black people, of course not it didn't air in america only Canada. Anyways basically Aaron Mcgrudder theorizes that BET is out to make bad tv to bring down the african american community. Whether he's right or wrong is up to dispute. But if BET is out to destory black people then VH1 is out to destroy people in general. Recently the network has really taken a turn to with its most heanus venture yet, I love money!

For those who have not heard they've rounded up all the rejects, Tranny messes and sex workers they could from past reality dating ventures such as "Rock of love", "I love New York" and "Who wants to date a crackhead". The contestants are going to be pitted against each other until one is left who will then win $250,000. The contestants are possibly the best of the celebreality universe that VH1 has created.The show will most likely be so trashy I will have no choice to watch in disgust. Below is the porn star that is in the current cast.

At time like this Im reminded of the film and novel Battle Royale. In which a class of japanese kids is put on island with explosive collars around there neck and are forced to kill each other until one is left standing. WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE THEM DO THAT!!!!!!!!!

Weekly Inspiration

2008-07-11T17:03:00.004-04:00

As with my return to ze blog they'll be fun posts such as this.

This weeks and the first is the wonderful Joanna Lumley. Or as most of us know her as Patsy Stone on Ab Fab. I love her to death I remember when they had just the 3 seasons on comedy central when i was kid. I was hooked my family should of just known at a young age that i'd turn out gay. Anyways Joanna was also a bond girl in her majesty secret service. She was quite the hottie back in her day and she still is now. Also my boy and I might be Eddie and Patsy for hallowen. Heres a two clips of PAtsy at her best because one just isn't enough:

M.I.A

2008-07-11T17:02:00.000-04:00

After a long hiatus Im back.

OH Viacom.

2008-02-17T20:42:00.002-05:00

VH1 has a new slogan Watch and Discuss. Lets face it we all know it should be Watch in Disgust. Its the only feeling I get when watching flavor of love or rock of love or any of there evil reality tv.

He's a Big MO

2008-02-15T15:01:00.004-05:00

I was out making deliveries this morning my job as a burrito delivery boy. (It's alot less sexy then it sounds believe me). I had just started making my rounds yet was paused by the fact that I was out of smokes. So I pulled into my friendly neighborhood rite aid after getting stiffed a tip and 37 cents for one of the deliveries. I was rather glum until I feasted my eyes on this.

ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW!!!! I almost burst out laughing, and for once it wasn't beause there was a crack head working there.I just can't believe the words Dale Jr. and Big Mo all on a fat ass candy bar. He must be a chubby chaser. I just can't believe not one red flag went off in the marketing room. But then again I doubt there'd be many fags working on a nascar star based candy.

This might be the gayest candy bar since the whatchamacallit.

X-Mas isn't here just yet.

2007-11-24T16:48:00.000-05:00

As usual on the Saturday after thanksgiving, the Belvedere family begins its annual tradition of putting up the x-mas crap. This process as with any family is an all day event. Usually I end up helping my dad and put up the lights outside. I've pretty much done this with my father every year that i could remember.

The house when I was a kid almost put the griswald family too shame. Unfortuntely it was not as hilarious and often usually more stressful then anything.

I conclude with a scene from the best xmas movie ever.

2007-11-13T12:47:00.000-05:00

30 Rock is damn good I just started to watch it. This clip just brings me so much joy, almost as much as the muffin top sketch. Rachel Dratch is quite the talented character actress.

WHITE DIAMONDS!!!!!!!

Adventure

2007-09-24T14:47:00.000-04:00

As many of you know i can be seen running around the city of rochester almost daily.

The following is a list of grievances with my surroundings:

People who throw cups of ice at me
People who almost hit me.
The people who occasionally scowl if i have no shirt on.
Bees.
Bad Rochester drivers.
Park Avenue.
People who forget pedistrians have the right of way.

Schooled

2007-09-19T12:42:00.000-04:00

I really dislike having adult students in my classes (Im pretty sure andrea already talked about this last year in her blog). Let's face it there annoying. There poorly dressed, awkward and usually have families, and are going back for that second degree or gasp there first one.

Most experiences with them makes me wonder how or why they have gone back to school. Lets face it in america college is pretty much a place to learn and then party ur face off, its about enjoying those days when you can be some what irresponsible. When i look at some of these people I often wondered when there irresponsibility had delivered them to a grateful dead concert.

High-kea

2007-09-18T14:19:00.000-04:00

In case you didn't know I love ikea. I don't know why I just do, maybes its the cool showroom, cool lamps, or the fact that just about anything comes flatpacked. Though everytime I go I buy at least one thing I don't need or have yet to use.

#1 on the list is a IKEA PS candlestick . The design is gorgeous and definately unique. The object in question also resembles the virus canisters in the resident evil movie. That prompted initial attraction followed by the urge of I must have this. The object while neat is definately delicate and has a hollow spiral of glass on the inside. I doubt I'll ever use the damn thing except for one day when i need a roach clip. It would probably make a more interesting piece of paraphanlia anyway.

Just because

2007-09-18T14:14:00.000-04:00

I love sonic youth, and I love this episode of the simpsons. Ah so many fond memories

Janet Reno cuts a rug

2007-09-17T21:18:00.000-04:00

I remember when SNL was ok. I wasn't old enough to stay up and watch when it was good in the early 90's and such. I find the show to be good, but have always been more of a kids in the hall guy. I was stumbling around on myspace recently and found a copy of Will Ferrel's classic skits "Janet Reno's Dance Party"

The concept is great. Janet Reno locks some kids in her basement. She forces them to dance to "My Sharona" endlessly, and then there would be a celebrity spotlight dance, and a visit from Bill Clinton. Will Ferrel's "Janet" swoons over bill and all is well.

The funny thing is that this actually became a real benefit during the last election. The real Janet Reno threw one in florida as an effort to rally democratic voters. Supposively it was a big hit. But I digress I find it odd when jokes make on SNL become reality.

2007-09-16T21:59:00.000-04:00

"Gin is the reason we can't have nice things" - Emily Lynch

I broke my roomates sunglasses the other night in a drunken stupor. Which prompted the above quote. So I went to wikipedia and found this little interesting tidbit.

"Gin became very popular in England after the government allowed unlicensed gin production and at the same time imposed a heavy duty on all imported spirits. This created a market for poor-quality grain that was unfit for brewing beer, and thousands of gin-shops sprang up all over England. By 1740 the production of gin had increased to six times that of beer, and because of its cheapness it became extremely popular with the poor[citation needed]. Of the 15,000 drinking establishments in London, over half were gin-shops. Beer maintained a healthy reputation as it was often safer to drink the brewed ale than unclean plain water. Gin, though, was blamed for various social and medical problems, and it may have been a factor in the high death rate that caused London's previously increasing population to remain stable. The reputation of the two drinks was illustrated by William Hogarth in his engravings Beer Street and Gin Lane (1751). This negative reputation survives today in the English language, in terms like "gin-mills" to describe disreputable bars or "gin-soaked" to refer to drunks, and in the phrase "Mother's Ruin," a common British name for gin."

No wonder that irish woman I met at the bug jar was concerned that I only drink gin.

Automobiles

2007-09-14T14:38:00.000-04:00

I fuckin hate my car its too big, guzzles gas, fuckin terrible shocks, is a Pontiac, and now the fucking AC is broken. WTF I want to sell it eventually, So I probably shouldn't be posting this.

On a side note I hate other drivers. Up here in Rochester Im way over aggressive in my car. I chalk up to the fact that I'm from New york city area, where if theres no traffic you fucking floor it, and your always in arush to get everywhere. In Long island one often comes across the discomfort of having to deal with bikers, and people racing pimped out Honda's. I can't stress how many accidents I've almost gotten in to because of pimped out Honda's.

But I digress citizens of Rochester: Learn how to drive.

Digital Love

2007-08-14T11:21:00.000-04:00

For those of you who didn't go last week daft punk played in brooklyn. I'll never see a show as cool or hear one as loud as that. Ever since the concert I've been wondering would it have been better to be engineered as a house playing robot/DJ then a mere human that lacks sonic powers. Also i think this is the only concert i've been to down here were everyone is dancing. Most new yorkers don't dance, it goes against the morals. Either way all should bow down to our new master the "Daft punk illuminati pyramid"

21

2007-08-14T11:16:00.000-04:00

I turned 21 last week. I've been drunk pretty consistently.

Daydream Nation

2007-07-29T19:20:00.000-04:00

Sonic Youth will always be my favorite band. Simple as that. About a few months ago I was told that they would be playing a string of shows where they would exclusively play there album Daydream Nation. In short it was a dream come true.

Malled.

2007-07-19T19:37:00.000-04:00

Today I ventured out into the depths of westbury, ny with a friend of the straight persuasion to help him pick out a gift for his loverly lady. So of course we had no choice but to go the mall. Now I hate the mall usually its hard to get me to go into one ,especially on Long island. Though it is one of the premier places to people watch in tristate area.

A mall on long island for those who haven't experienced is a delicate balance, its actually quite amazing how the whole thing doesn't turn into a powder keg. First you have your largest group women. I got nothing against girls but when faced with shiny objects they succumb to there power. The next is the guido's probably the most obnoxious of the group, they usually have one or two girls on there arms and a thin crust of cocaine around the nostrils easily made noticeable due to a bad fake tan (Misty tan love), There girlfriends two are no winners either usually more coked up and uppity. Then you have ur mall rats which are declinging day by day unfortunately due to low income housing behind a closer mall. After that its annoying high schoolers which even at the age of 20 make you ask "was I this fuckin annoying" Oh and gays but we are mostly in hiding on the LI at the mall.

Anyway the shopping experience was a success I tlked my friend between the right choices for his lil lady. Apparently women will buy anything my friends gf originally wanted one of the most wretched bags I'd had ever seen. SO ig uided him away for this and had him opt for this watch she wanted.

In the end I bought some fine keihls products and red jeans.

Real People, Real Love

2007-07-14T16:33:00.000-04:00

Im sitting here right now and Im watching probably one of the greatest shows of all time, Flavor of Love.

I fucking love it! I mean come on, have you seen this shit and especially now that the two spin offs have concluded its only more glorious. For those unfamilar with this scenario its as simple as this.

Flavor of Love: Old man. Crazy bitches. One house. Lots of clock. both ending with the winners leaving him eventually
I Love New York: Scorned women with big knockers. Ny dumped at reunion by winner. I love NY 2 to follow
Charm School: Monique. crazy bitches return. The one who deserve to win did. Bad Weaves all around.

I mean how can you not win with those combos. It's a great franchise. It gives me just what I want from reality tv which is Bullshit drama, dumb people, ridiculous challenges, scandals, and a losing of self respect, except for the girls of Charm school and Delicious. Ladies I applaud you. Frankly the genesis of the show is hard to swallow at times because in the end seeing an old ex crack head hitting on young women is a bit much.

With that said the show just needs to go down with a nice drink so heres what im having.

1/4 cup blueberries
1/4 cup raspberries
1/2 lemon juiced
4 parts bombay
pinch of sugar
dash of vermouth

Take the blueberries and rasperries throw them in the shaker with ice and beat the hell out of it. Add half of lemon juice. Then gin and a splash of vermouth.

do you have love for New York?

2007-07-01T13:49:00.000-04:00

Oh man I'vee been so bored at home to be quite honest, my days are pretty much devoted to my new deity.

Happiness is a Warm gun

2007-06-29T14:54:00.000-04:00

Oh Action movies you truly might be made for straight boys and idiots!

Well actually that may not be true ususally there is a lot of muscle , with a slint hint of homoeroticism in action films, which I always thought as quite strange considering the target demographic being straight men. Guess thats how u get single women and gay men to see these movies. Now don't get me wrong I like action movies, well some of them, but lets face it the majority of them aren't made for those of us that want a decent story, and not a bunch of buzz words being kicked around.

So in short I went and saw Live Free or Die Hard, starring the at one time sexy Bruce Willis and you know what he still good loooking for an older man I guess.. Well anyways I've never actually seen a Die Hard film before. Yea, I know sue me! There probably pretty sweet and made Bruce Willis into the badass that he is today. This one continues that spirit. The story was pretty bad. Considering no one was gonna take there shirt off the movie begin to reach a new low on its own. The only saving grace was of course the action, but at the point thats al the movie should be.

But it kind of sucked and not in like an old person with dentures way more like teenage with braces way.The action movie should be the ultimate of two bit whores out there! You know the ones that you get dirt cheap and you can tell there just new to the game and you reassure them that you've nver done this before, and then they just explain there down on there luck and haven't done this before. But oh brother once they start going you find urself somehow into being edging all night long til the very end results in an explosive finale. yea that how there supposed to be.

So in short I can't believe I paid 10 bucks for that.

still kinda of hot. dammit.

Blog Virginity

2007-06-28T13:19:00.000-04:00

Oh man I totally just popped me blog cherry by typing this sentence.

Yes thats right folks, I need a blog now. Well actually I've probably always needed one especially so I can try to rival other blogs. You know how it goes. Some mid 30 something yr old with what we shall call a madonna complex posts a rather cheeky post that frankly sullied my good name a bit. I'll skip the details since his ego does not need to be inflated anymore. But that is the basis of why Im starting this, that and I have some free time on my hands since its summer.